Love ain't easy, fellas.
Love ain't got a sign that it holds up when you've found "the one." Love also ain't got a sign that it holds up when you're effing everything up with "the one" and when it would be a good time to stop talking, jackass. Damn...I wish love had that sign.
Fear not, fellas. Because while love's signs may not be blatant, they do exist. You just have to be paying attention. Like, when she orders you a bouquet of flower-shaped bacon. That's a sign. Or when she's willing to dress up as a fictional electric rodent from a cartoon made for 8-year-olds that your 25-year-old ass is still obsessed. That's also a sign.
Those are just a couple, but I promise you that after you've read all 16 of my signs, you'll be more confident than ever navigating the tricky world of lusting and loathing. Just remember: the trick to finding true love ultimately comes from you speaking less.
1. She's an active contributor to all your fetishes.
2. Waking up with a hangover to these.
3. Not sure if domestic violence or playful drunk fun. But it ended with bacon so...win?
4. When your girlfriend is "let me Snapchat him dad jokes" cool.
5. If she embraces you having explosive diarrhea at a moment's notice, she's a keeper.
6. I've never heard of a woman proposing to a man, but if it happens, it should be done like this.
7. If she makes sushi that looks like this, her sashimi is probably pretty fresh too.
8. Bouquet of bacon? Say no more.
9. The important detail here is that she went through all this trouble and still brought the pizza.
10. Say no more. I'll be right over.
11. She accepts you for who you are. And then still packs your lunch.
12. She's girlfriend material if this is her idea of an ideal Valentine's Day present.